sigh... of all days that this has to happen.. now i feel so guilty for making cny eve a less happy day..

it really frustrates me how overboard they can really go sometimes..

i know... i may not be as quick minded as they are..

or as smart..

or as organized..

or as hardworking..

or as capable..

or... you know what, let's just summarize it all and say that maybe i'm useless in comparison to them..

but i'm still a human being.. and i'm their flesh and blood..

can they show me some respect?..

i sometimes speak faster than i think.. i say the wrong things..

and they go on and on and on and on and on about it...

it's ok.. years of growing up with them has trained me to just take it all as a joke..

but there's only so much i can take before it starts to get on my nerves..

but yet, this abuse goes on and on and on, and they never seem to want to stop..

and they never seem to realise (or bother) that they've crossed the line..

in fact, even things which aren't even REMOTELY related to me are ALWAYS linked to me,

and twisted in a way as though i am a bad influence or a bad example when it has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!!!

this is why i sometimes don't feel like telling them anything..

because they'll just use those bad experiences i faced against me in the future..

and they'll make fun or ruin the good memories that i have..

(this is why i sometimes feel a stronger sense of belonging in TECHFLOW compared to

in my own blood family)

and then, there's the issue of my faith...

i truly am thankful for the faith i have found and how it has really saved me..

because of my faith, (and though i may not be perfect) i am thankful for how it has shaped me into who i am today..

yet, these skeptics continue to taunt me about it every single opportunity they get..

and i try my best to deal with it..

to ignore it when they're merely making stupid remarks that don't make sense,

and to answer their questions when they are not..

and i really, really admire how my aunt can be so patient towards these taunts..

but how am i suppose to cope with it as well as she does,

when i have three flesh and blood to taunt me, whereas she has one..

when i am not as strong as she is..

it's really frustrating..

and i really wish they'll be more understanding and considerate as to know where the limit is..

i have feelings and it hurts...

can they please respect me?..