another one of those emo updates...

sigh.. what's happening to me..
my life is such a mess..
well, it was nvr exactly organized in the first place, but at least not as out of hand as now..

i'm hurting ppl who care about me..
i'm withdrawing from everything that's happening around me..
i'm losing faith and interest in things i used to be SOO passionate about..

i dun wan ppl to worry..
so i try my best to smile and laugh and pretend everything's okay..
i have the most awesome frens that anyone can wish for, but sometimes i feel like i'm all alone to face this world..
i try to talk, but no one truly understands..
i pray, alot.. and all i can do is to believe, and take one step at a time..


i once promised myself that watever happens, i wont take it out on anyone..
whatever i go through, i try my best not to influence ppl around me..
but why is it that, everytime i try not to do something, i end up doing it on a larger scale.. in a negative manner..


i hate feeling so helpless.. it's frustrating...

dear "you",

just when i thought i've seen enuf dementors*, you came along..
the only d'rence is that dementors are thin and scrawny, while you, on the other hand, are.. well, the plain opposite..
come to think of it, you remind me of a human-sized garfield.. a not so cute version though..

you have such an amazing bean sprout-like handwriting that it makes chicken's clawing** seem legible..
spectacle companies shud SOO hire you as their sales rep,
cuz by the end of the semester, i'm pretty sure all the students in ur classes will be wearing glasses already..

and i wish i could pay more attention in ur class but the way u explain things sumtimes, is such a turn off..
in fact, if you were to tel me the story of cinderella for the first time in my life, the only things i'd probably get outta the story are
she's a girl,
there's a pumpkin involved,
and somehow it was a happily ever after story..

i thank God that it's almost the end of the semester..
sorry for being brutal but, i hope i'll never end up in ur class again.

love,
your frustrated student

*for those of you who have never read harry potter, it's a creature which sucks all the happiness outta you..
**haha, direct translation of cakar ayam

H.O.M.E.S.I.C.K.

i came bak for a total of 7 classes in two days, jus to find out that 3 of it are cancelled..

then i was thinkin of going bak to penang (5 days break!!!), then i remembered, i got a camp comin up this friday.. sigh..

so, i thought, maybe i'll head over to my aunt's place in damansara (at least i'll have a home-y feeling for 2 and a half days!!), then i remembered, i'm one of the person in charge for 2mr's techflow meeting.. sigh...

i am officially bored to death.. and i'm SUPER homesick..

i miss my house..
i miss my family..
i miss my friends..
i miss my dog..
i miss my bed..

i miss everything to do with HOME!!!

3 main reasons why i always go M.I.A.

see, the reason why i started a blog in the first place, is to update my friends on what's been happening in my life or what i've stumbled upon lately.. a somewhat convenient method to channel it (besides facebook), esp. after leavin high skool and everyone's off in their separate lives to lead..

and it's also a method for the future me to reminisce on what retarded things the past me had seen, done or said =)


but, what usually happens when i'm about to update a blog post..
1) *snap of a finger*
imaginary light bulb is lit.. i get an idea, i start developing on dat idea in my mind
i get excited about it..
i get RILLI excited about it...
i get RILLI RILLI RILLI excited about it..........

then i get worn out due to the excitement. the excitement dies.
i go thru a whole phase of mind-blogging and it dies b4 i even blog about it.. so yea, no updates..



OR if i dun have the time to write about it...
2) write it down somewhere first, to remind myself to blog about it when i have the time.. (and the whole time, i have da giddiness of a little girl inside of me when i tink bout bloggin bout it)

time passes, and one day.. it's time to finally update my blog.. i look into my updates book on where to start..
HOLY CRAP, I HAVE A GAZILLION THINGS TO BLOG ABOUT!!!
AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHH!!!!!

the indecisiveness of which one to blog about first kills me b4 i even update one blog post..


OR.....
3) jus a normal day, and i feel like updating my blog.. internet connection established..
(monologue : first thing i'm gonna do is update my blog..)
update blog.. update blog.. update blog.. must update blog.. must updaOH LOOKIE HERE!!! somebody posted up a super cool video on youtube!!! AWESOMENESS!!!!!!!
and so, yea, i end up doing everything else EXCEPT blogging..



so you see, i have so many hindrance everytime i wanna update my blog, and i seriously wonder how so many ppl can do it on a regular basis..
note to self : need to find solution to constant M.I.A. status of blog, or my lack of focus, or my short term attention span..

so, to those biotech ppl out there, if you tink u've created a pill or the likes dat can help solve my prob, i'd LOVE to be ur test subject =D

p.s. = on 2nd thought, not really =D hehe...

Today in circuits class.....

An interactive session between a fellow classmate of mine, let's jus call him Y, and my lecturer, I in class today.. emphasis, IN CLASS!!!

Part 1
Y : sir, how does this element work? does it have internal battery or sumthing?
I : that one, i'll explain it when we're in class.
Y : we're not in class now meh? (EPIC!!)
*lecturer somehow starts talkin about sumthing else and changes topic*

Part 2
I : "......there will be feedback to the input...."
Y : sir, wat do you mean by feedback?
I : feeding back.
the whole class : ?????
I : *mumbles* *mumbles* *mumbles* *lecturer changes topic of discussion, yet again*


sigh, when the seniors said that circuit analysis was gonna be a walk in the park, i honestly believed them. in fact, i stil do. but unfortunately, my wonderful lecturer manages to screw our minds upside down, inside out and make us feel like trying to decipher einstein's theory of relativity might be a piece of cake as compared to circuits.

exam season is OVER!!!

Lab Practical test 1.................. DONE!
DE Test 1................................. DONE!!
Circuits Analysis Mid Term.... DONE!!!
Advan. Calculus Test 1........... DONE!!!!
C Programming Mid Term.... DONE!!!!!

WHEE!!!!!! finally exams are over, finally i can relax a lil and catch up on my beauty sleep.. (my panda eyes are going a full circle already =P)

activities for may

3rd: *confidential*
4th: chemistry presentation
5th: english quiz
6th: physics quiz
7th: calculus test
12th: MUET speaking test, dateline for english assignment
14th: physics test
17th: english presentation
18th: chemistry quiz
19th: calculus quiz, *confidential*
22nd: moral project
26th: event management
29th: MTAF camp

STRESS!!!
need break!!!!